a new day one
As I write this, I'm curled up in bed...waiting for sleep. I feel happily exhausted. I forgot that's the result of passionate work. Alas, I donated plasma tonight, and I need to wait a while longer before I can unwrap my arm and cocoon myself into blankets. For those who enjoy reading this blog, consider yourselves lucky (but also warned...an exhausted mind likely lacks completely coherent sentences).
When this shares, I'll be sitting in my (very first!) cubicle, after placing a personal supply order for the first time (although I have no idea what I need). I'll likely be unconvinced that the clock is telling the accurate time, as I was today, because of the fast pace. I'll see dozens of faces, maybe more. I'll hopefully laugh a lot; judging by my interactions with coworkers and families today, those hopes are high. I'll probably still be wrapping my head around the fact that today I was told that my resume was in the top ten applicants because I appear passionate even on paper. I'll also probably still be letting the seed that someone planted in my head about a quick promotion continue to grow.
None of that is crucial though. Yes, it is exciting. It is fulfilling. It is what made me feel a little hopeful for my future for the first time in months.
What is crucial? That I took the necessary steps to arrive at this opportunity, despite so many people putting me down; despite the financial obstacles of bills and groceries and travel and the cost of life itself; despite days that exist as a blur because I only slept two hours the night before; despite days that don't exist at all because I slept through them; despite some of my supposedly closest friends telling me some of the harshest thoughts about my intelligence and work ethic and drive. Despite the fact that there were tough days...I stayed true to what I needed to continue on my quest for happiness.
At the beginning of this summer, when I quit the job that I moved to an unfamiliar city for, I first told my best friend. They knew much earlier than anyone else. Why? I knew they would support my feelings. I only want people in my life who do that, who encourage me to create happiness. And yes, when I say, "my quest for happiness," I mean with my rules and goals, my dreams and drive, my ideas and ideals, regardless of how often they change. It is my path. Today the training coordinator at my new adventure said, "You're very young. And this experience? It's going to be a great one." That's when I knew I had taken a step in the best direction.
This morning I went to work for the first time in 65 days. This afternoon I sat in my car, watching more families go inside, and smiled at myself in the rearview mirror before pulling away. I forgot how much I miss the feeling that I had. Those who serve others know what I mean. For those who don't, it's almost indescribable. I'll try my best to explain.
I want you to think about the moment that you received the greatest news after a difficult time in your life. What was it? Where were you? Who was there? Who helped along the way? When did you find out? What was happening in your life at that time? How did you feel?
Now think about this---it's my job to make moments like that come true for families every single day. It's my responsibility to help others when they find the courage to ask. It's my passion to reduce the suffering in the world. Today I helped one person. They shook my hand when we met and when they left, and they smiled the whole time. I did too.
This morning I went to work for the first time in 65 days, happily. This afternoon I sat in my car, happily. This evening, I heard the final phrase of today's training on loop in my mind, over the music pulsing through my headphones: "It's not about the days. It's about the work that we're doing."
For many, they see this job as just that: a job. They don't see this as a career path. They certainly don't see it is a feasible way to live well.
For me, I look forward to working tomorrow. I hope they can say the same for themselves.
When this shares, I'll be sitting in my (very first!) cubicle, after placing a personal supply order for the first time (although I have no idea what I need). I'll likely be unconvinced that the clock is telling the accurate time, as I was today, because of the fast pace. I'll see dozens of faces, maybe more. I'll hopefully laugh a lot; judging by my interactions with coworkers and families today, those hopes are high. I'll probably still be wrapping my head around the fact that today I was told that my resume was in the top ten applicants because I appear passionate even on paper. I'll also probably still be letting the seed that someone planted in my head about a quick promotion continue to grow.
None of that is crucial though. Yes, it is exciting. It is fulfilling. It is what made me feel a little hopeful for my future for the first time in months.
What is crucial? That I took the necessary steps to arrive at this opportunity, despite so many people putting me down; despite the financial obstacles of bills and groceries and travel and the cost of life itself; despite days that exist as a blur because I only slept two hours the night before; despite days that don't exist at all because I slept through them; despite some of my supposedly closest friends telling me some of the harshest thoughts about my intelligence and work ethic and drive. Despite the fact that there were tough days...I stayed true to what I needed to continue on my quest for happiness.
At the beginning of this summer, when I quit the job that I moved to an unfamiliar city for, I first told my best friend. They knew much earlier than anyone else. Why? I knew they would support my feelings. I only want people in my life who do that, who encourage me to create happiness. And yes, when I say, "my quest for happiness," I mean with my rules and goals, my dreams and drive, my ideas and ideals, regardless of how often they change. It is my path. Today the training coordinator at my new adventure said, "You're very young. And this experience? It's going to be a great one." That's when I knew I had taken a step in the best direction.
---
This morning I went to work for the first time in 65 days. This afternoon I sat in my car, watching more families go inside, and smiled at myself in the rearview mirror before pulling away. I forgot how much I miss the feeling that I had. Those who serve others know what I mean. For those who don't, it's almost indescribable. I'll try my best to explain.
I want you to think about the moment that you received the greatest news after a difficult time in your life. What was it? Where were you? Who was there? Who helped along the way? When did you find out? What was happening in your life at that time? How did you feel?
Now think about this---it's my job to make moments like that come true for families every single day. It's my responsibility to help others when they find the courage to ask. It's my passion to reduce the suffering in the world. Today I helped one person. They shook my hand when we met and when they left, and they smiled the whole time. I did too.
This morning I went to work for the first time in 65 days, happily. This afternoon I sat in my car, happily. This evening, I heard the final phrase of today's training on loop in my mind, over the music pulsing through my headphones: "It's not about the days. It's about the work that we're doing."
For many, they see this job as just that: a job. They don't see this as a career path. They certainly don't see it is a feasible way to live well.
For me, I look forward to working tomorrow. I hope they can say the same for themselves.
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thoughts? feelings? questions? send away. I might not have an answer, but I'll always read.